


refuge

by stpatrick



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, M/M, Road Trips, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 14:03:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10946046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stpatrick/pseuds/stpatrick
Summary: Phil doesn’t quite know what he’s running from. Yeah, he came out to his parents and they didn’t take it that well, but he wasn’t kicked out or beaten or anything. It’s not ideal but he can live with it, so why was he driving across Australia again?Dan doesn’t quite know what he’s running to. Things have always been pretty shit, so he didn’t ever expect things to get any better. He’s got no money, no home, no future. Well, that was before Phil Lester gave him a deal he couldn’t refuse.So now there were two old friends, now strangers, travelling to Newcastle searching for something neither of them quite understand.





	refuge

Phil Lester is watching the endless circular blur with an attentive eye. Its limbs have spun into a monochrome spiral on his roof. He’s been throwing worthless things into its wrath for almost an hour; empty water bottles, pens, a shoe. Everything disappointingly ricochettes back into his lap unscathed. He wants something to break, he wants someone to yell at him. But no-one will, he knows this for sure, yet he continues the futile task of trying. 

 

His parents have been ignoring him for approximately the last forty-eight hours. Sure, he wasn’t expecting the best reaction, but he was at least expecting some words. Coming out as gay was probably the last thing they would expect from Phil. Especially since it was out of character for him to disclose any personal information to them in the first place. It wasn’t the worst case scenario; he wasn’t kicked out or preached at, his parents weren’t homophobic, just shocked. In a couple of days, his mum would be back to her chatty old self like usual. 

Except it was not that easy. It was so painfully silent around the house that Phil was longing for anything to fill it. They didn’t seem upset or angry, just a little confused, like they were waiting for the punchline. Just like PJ was when Phil called him at eleven-thirty that night panicking, “Peej, I’ve done something  _ really _ dumb.”

 

“You’re always doing dumb shit, Lester. What’s new?”

 

“I just came out to my parents.”

 

“Came out? Like as  _ gay _ ?” PJ questioned him over the phone, sounding very puzzled, “You’re gay, Lester?”

 

“Uh, surprise?” Phil uncomfortably laughed, before continuing, “I’m so stupid, ugh.”

 

“Have you ever heard of something called  _ planning _ ? How did your parents react?”

 

“I’m not sure because they haven’t spoken to me all night.”

 

“Fuck, Phil. May as well run away from home.”

 

And every since PJ said it, all Phil could think about was leaving home. Not like dramatically running away across the country, like any old angsty teenager. More like leaving for a couple of days so things can settle back to normal. Maybe sleeping in his car for a couple of nights or staying at PJ’s house. He wasn’t exactly one to plan things, just like PJ had said. But it was not the worst idea in the world. Phil would have some time to think things through and his parents would have some time to relax. And before he even had time to decide where to go, he had started packing.

 

 

.  .  .

  
  


 

Phil still isn’t quite sure where he is going. He’s shoved some clothes into a backpack, switched off his ceiling fan and politely wrote a note explaining to his family where he will be (not that he really knew himself). Luckily, he was fortunate enough to receive a car for Christmas. It wasn’t in the best condition, but it would surely take him somewhere. In the back seat, Phil throws the quilt from his bed, a pillow and a handful of snacks. It was better to be safe than sorry, especially since he had no clue where he was going. To be safe, he knew he would have to get some money out from his savings he had earned from a part time fast food job he took the previous year. He’d also need gas, or else he wouldn’t be getting anywhere. 

 

He was not quite set on a destination yet. While just staying at PJ’s would be nice, he didn’t want to burden him with his presence for a couple of days. Sleeping in his car was quite boring if he didn’t leave town, and he may as well stay at home without someone to talk to. Realistically, he was thinking a day trip just outside of town, maybe Kakadu. Darwin was quite a boring city; the exciting places were much further out in the territory like Alice Springs and Uluru. It’s the wet season too and Phil wasn’t sure his little car could handle the constant thunderstorms and high humidity. He picked the worst time to travel anywhere. But here he was, sat outside a service station, unsure exactly what to do next. Violet tinged fluorescent lighting was too harsh for the early hours of the morning, the tar fully soaked by rain. A little shady at this time of night, yet comforting, standing alone in the never ending blackness of the night.

 

Phil’s walking fast towards the entrance, worried a monster was going to escape the darkness to attack him. The door chimes open and he scurries to grab what he needs; extra snacks, cash from the ATM, an excessive amount of petrol. The essentials for a journey of any kind. He hands a golden fifty dollar note to the cashier, collecting the change before leaving the dreaded place. Part of him thought it was a stupid idea, but the other part knew it was time to leave. Darwin was a small place. Kind but smothering. Opportunities were sparse for talented kids, non-existent for average ones like himself. Phil wasn’t leaving for good by any means, but he was leaving for  _ something _ . And that something told him to get out of the city to find himself, a purpose. 

 

But before he can even get back to his car, his notices a familiar brunette boy lying on a patch of empty grass beside the building. The boy is fully focused on the sky above. Shimmering stars and the glistening moon. There was sprinkles of rain, but the sky was clear. Intrigued, Phil walks closer. The boy’s concentration is broken by the rustling of grass underneath Phil’s feet, eyes averting to the other boy.

 

“Are you planning on running away from home?” The boy muses, perching himself up on his elbow. Phil instantly recognises him by his voice, awkwardly laughing in response. Daniel Howell was not an easy boy to forget.

 

“Uh,” he stammers, “N-not sure.”

 

“Well, you were never really one for planning,” Dan flashes a kind smile. He’s fully sitting up now, gazing right into Phil’s eyes, gesturing with his head towards Phil’s car, “If you’re running away, you probably won’t get far in that.”

 

“Looks can be deceiving,” Phil still isn’t confident in his words. Dan grins at his nerves, “Where are you gonna go anyway?” 

 

“Dunno.”

 

Dan rolls his eyes, then lays back down. Phil was giving off odd vibes, just like always. Too anxious and too quiet, Phil Lester was a tough one to decipher. Most people couldn’t bother trying. Dan tried once upon a time.

 

“Well, drive safely,” Dan wasn’t grinning anymore. His eyes concentrated on the galaxies above him once again. Dan knew Phil only spoke to people out of necessity rather than kindness. He knew that well. 

 

Phil’s heart stings at the sudden coldness of Dan’s voice. Expected, due to their history, yet unexpected due to Dan’s nature. The boy loves too much for his own good, despite getting fucked around constantly. It takes a lot for him to become distant. If Phil knew any better, he’d leave him be.

 

But he doesn’t.

 

“ _ Wait _ ,” Phil speaks up, the clearest his voice can be, “Do you wanna come on a road trip with me?”

 

Dan’s looking back at Phil, eyebrows raised, perplexed. He’s thinking deeply, confused at the proposition. Phil isn’t one to plan, he remembers. 

 

“Yeah, alright,” he answers, smiling slightly, “But only if we can take my van.”

  
“ _Deal_.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm praying I will be able to finish this. I have a couple of chapters written and I'm highly invested, so fingers crossed. If you enjoyed this please harass me to finish it lmao. 
> 
> The title is derived from the song Refuge by The Antlers.


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